AF Day 324 - II

FOB Smart at 2130 - Monday

Evening has come and gone and the night is well into its meandering, distant, quieting, and pacifying spread across FOB Smart. Darkness fell hours ago and the FOB is slipping away into slumber once more. My thoughts are bombarded with thoughts I can barely contain.

It is my greatest belief that we are all born into this world with an inherent good beating within our hearts. We are born free from disdain, free from evil, and free from knowledge of right or wrong. We grow up thinking the world is this big scary place, yet we recognize the innate goodness of people surrounding us, and we take, usually anyway, many years to develop genuine doubt and mistrust in others. For every moment we spend in our young lives there are generally equal amounts of environmental influences that steer us in directions healthy and normal and also unhealthy and abnormal. For whatever reason, most of us end up "okay." We end up well-adjusted to the reality of life, to the facts of life, and to the obvious truth found within doing the right thing even though we may sometimes believe or find that not doing the right thing is somehow easier.

We must place others before ourselves. We must act in the best interests of those around us before attending to our own needs. We must support the cause of personal freedom but not at the cost of the very happiness and security of those around us. Service to others is supremely rewarding, it is also undeniably good, and is quite often wholly marginalized by the actions of others who take for granted the principles of freedom and a right to pursuing happiness. What is the worth of your happiness when it comes at the cost of endowing pain and misery to others? What is the benefit gained when the price of your own minimal happiness comes when achieving thus most certainly spells disaster and discomfort for someone else?

I will never claim that my own service to others, to my country, to my family, or even to myself, is somehow important or worthwhile. But I do believe with all of my heart that what I give is somehow meaningful - if only to me, and I give such freely and without end.

How many blog posts have I entered referencing the absolute pleasure and joy that is found in helping those whom I am here to help? I am not certain of the answer, but I will presume it to be nearly half or more of all posts herein. It is without question for me, and such is certainly supported by the reality of this deployment, that helping others, however great or small the contribution, means something. A people oppressed by tyranny of any form are a people deserving of assistance, of support, and of my own hand should such be asked of me. We volunteered to come here and we therefore attempt to make a difference.

I find myself at the end of a yearlong deployment and I look ahead with so much promise and hope for the future of these beautiful people here in Afghanistan. I want desperately to believe that all of the sacrifices made, from so very many of our brave and honorable countrymen, friends, allies, and often the very people we are here to support and defend, matter. Doing something that matters is surely more important than doing something just to do something. I pledged to honor my country, my family, and myself in coming here to work in construction management. In the end, I do feel that I have done so - many times over.

Homecomings are meant to be happy occasions; thus, they are significant in the lives of those who have served. They represent, however intentionally or unintentionally, the best of the sacrifices made. A good job deserves to be reviewed and respected. Tickertape and marching bands aside, I think the idea of a heartwarming and loving homecoming for me is represented directly through the smile on my son's face. I look forward to his gentle nature, his unspoken approval and automatic acceptance of his daddy, and his immense love for me. Kaesen is my homecoming.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.