April 30, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 0630 - Monday

Having not fully adjusted to the swap in time zones yet, I still find myself going to bed early and waking early; today I awoke at 0530. Kaesen and I went to bed early, near 2000, and started watching the movie "Rango." He was asleep in minutes; I was too. I love waking up in Arizona and hearing the familiar songs of these desert birds I have listened to my entire life. Nostalgia, for me, is wrapped into these beautiful calls and dramatic stories told by our beautiful avian friends. Question: If I have to endure minor sleep offsets for awhile, what better place than Arizona is more suitable for me to do so? Answer: There is no better place right now!

As mentioned in my blog post yesterday, we enjoyed a family outing to Rio Vista Park in Peoria, Arizona, which is on the west-central side of the Phoenix metropolitan valley. Kaesen has been to this particular park many times, as have I and most others in my immediate family. The weather was close to the century mark yesterday with lower humidity, and a nearly cloudless sky. Awesome for a fun-in-the-sun day! This park has a children's wet play area, so they have water jets all over the anti-slip surfaces, special animals have spouts from their mouths, and there are plenty of shower-type devices spraying water everywhere. Kaesen, needless to say, enjoyed this immensely. His smile was non-stop and contagious. We also played on some terrific playground equipment, kicked about the soccer ball, and rested on the picnic blanket. Kaesen and I truly love and thoroughly visiting parks together.

We have a list of "to-do" items to work on, so today should include H&R Block, the VA Hospital, a couple of different official stops, possibly the DMV for a motorcycle endorsement, and many other stops and requirements along the way. Or, today may turn into an "I am not doing a damn thing" kind of day! Either way it is all good.

Today is also my official 359th day of the 365-day deployment, including start-up, finish-up, and R&R travel. What an amazing finish for me as the last days of this tour come to a quiet and far-removed stop in the loving arms of my son.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 29, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 1130 - Sunday

Kaesen, Daddy, and Goppie (my dad) awoke and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast in North Phoenix this morning, just off the I-17 and Deer Valley. Kaesen had French toast and loved it; his appetite is huge most of the time. Goppie and Daddy enjoyed a little coffee and ate delicious meals too. These are the moments that I have longed for since leaving a year ago. They are now a reality again and having KT with Goppie makes life so special.

Lowe's was calling Kaesen and I after breakfast, so we dropped Goppie off at his home and left again. I needed to return a large plastic tote and Kaesen needed new small, but "real", hand tools. We found a set perfect for him and again all is right, for the moment anyway, in the Summerlin household. After our brief shopping spree, which was another item to cross off of Daddy's "to-do list," we showered and dressed for the day. Next up is a visit to the park with Goppie and Vovo, maybe to the really cool park in Peoria, Arizona. Soccer and playground equipment are the likely activities for this visit. Anything, however, will suffice as it is the quality of the time spent that I am focusing on these days.

In the coming week, my last on the payroll of my Afghanistan district for the US Army Corps of Engineers (I am on reintegration leave currently) will include doctor visits and appointment setting, banking, more shopping for many different necessities, obviously more playing and fun stops for Kaesen and Daddy, and ultimately a drive south to Tucson to see my sister, Amy, and best friends Billy and his wonderful family, and other best friends, Tim and Elaine Courneen. by the end of the coming week we will have driven east to Las Cruces, new Mexico, for another grand visit with my brother and his family, including his wife, Jill, and son, Jonny. I love, just truly love, not having a deadline right now for anything! Traveling is king these days - and playing hard and happily is our only requirement.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 28, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 1950 - Saturday

Loving life! I am sunburned from tubing the Salt River today!

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 28, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 0740 - Saturday

Loving life! Tubing the Salt River today with my brother, Blake, and his son, Jonny.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 27, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 1121 - Friday

It is an amazing relief to be with my son!

Loving life right now, y'all!

Blogging from my cell phone.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 26, 2012 - Phoenix with Kaesen

Central Arizona at 2359 - Thursday

Kaesen and I woke up incredibly early, for either of us normally, today. We enjoyed waking up together here at my dad's house in central Arizona. More than that, I just enjoyed waking up again next to him. I am so getting used to this magical experience again with him as each day arrives. It was similar when I returned twice in the last twelve months, but this time it is for real, it is permanent, and it feels great. I know we will be leaving here in a few weeks - but we will be leaving together. He will live between two homes moving forward and as much as this does still pain my heart, at least we will be close to one another. No matter the outcome, we will be together and we WILL be happy.

It is very late on Thursday night, almost Friday morning in fact. I am up for a drink of water. Kaesen and Daddy fell asleep hours ago, five in fact, and it was, and is, wonderful. his peaceful face glows in the dark - truly it lights up my being like nothing else I experience. Kaesen is fast asleep and quietly dreaming, likely of things little boys dream of and I cannot wait to talk to him again! Maybe he is dreaming about the fun we had today. We went to Moon Valley Park after filling up about 20 water balloons and threw them as high and as hard as we could so they would "explode" on impact, We played on the swings, the field equipment, and talked with other little ones and their parents. Later we ate chili for dinner - made by my dad and visited with Kaesen's Goppie and Vovo, his Arizona grandparents.

Life is grand.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 25, 2012 – Phoenix with Kaesen

Southwest Airlines Flight 568 at 1430 – Wednesday

Kaesen and I had such an awesome reunion last night at the airport in Seattle. He and his mother met me at the Carousel 16 baggage claim area. Kaesen ran up to me and jumped into my arms. He kissed me a thousand times, told me more that he loved me, and his smile was surreal. All the hardships of a yearlong deployment and all the pain and suffering from his absence were gone! Hearing your child tell you they love you can make anything in the world better – and for me, last night and continuing forevermore, I am better.

We are flying right now on a Southwest flight from Seattle to Phoenix. Another reunion is pending in about another hour when we land. My dad and his wife, Viviane, Kaesen’s Goppie and Vovo, are meeting us at the airport. From Phoenix we will travel throughout Arizona to meet family and friends, and eventually over to Las Cruces to reunite with my brother, Blake, his beautiful wife, Jill – my sister in-deed and in-law, and their other son, Jonny, my other Blake Summerlin nephew. This summer Kaesen and I will again fly together to reunite with my momma, Ted, brother Tay, his wife Jennifer, and their children, Bailey, Emily, Katie Beth, and Toby. I love reunions!

After we left the airport last night I learned they had just eaten a Mexican dinner – but not without also saving me some delicious leftovers. Kaesen and I stayed at our dear friend Ellen’s house last night. We stayed up briefly visiting before turning in for some well-deserved rest. Kaesen cried when his momma left for her home an hour away – but I assured him she was not leaving forever, as he proclaimed, and never coming back. I presume he feels a little concerned that she, or his daddy, will leave for such a long time again as I did last May 8, 2011. His tears were quickly replaced with love, laughter, and joy. That is my job after all, to ensure my son is as happy as he can possibly be.

This morning we awoke early, took another long, hot bath, this time together, and prepared for the day. Kaesen’s gorgeous hair requires a little effort to maintain and I am so very lucky to be able to do these simple tasks for him after having been away for so very, very long. We left for breakfast and found a quaint little place down the road where Kaesen devoured seven slices of French toast, a third of my Belgian waffle, two pieces of pork sausage, a large glass of milk, and enjoyed the company of Ellen, her little baby, Thor, and his completely amazed and happy daddy.

Somewhere over Nevada we are flying south by southwest toward Arizona. This has been a day I have been waiting for now for so long, as was last night, and many more to come. I have a glad heart, a happy heart, and a heart filled with such love for my son, family, and friends. I cannot find enough words in the world to express just how grateful I am for this boy who is right now sleeping on my lap. I plan to spend the rest of my life loving this boy as much or more than anyone has ever loved another person in history. I am thankful to be home – Kaesen is after all my home.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 24, 2012 – Seattle with Kaesen

United Airlines Flight 917 at 1620 – Tuesday

I am just chasing sunsets in these wonderful days of my life. I cannot remember another time I have looked ahead with such amazing anticipation as I do right now, today, knowing I will see my baby boy, Kaesen, within a matter of hours. These beautiful and long sunsets are suddenly within reach and my heart is overflowing with joy. My soul is singing right now. All the trials, the hardships, the suffering, the unbearable and hard to endure experiences are over – in an instant. I am so very thankful for the coming night, the coming days, and the rest of my life. I now know firsthand that chasing every golden sunset, while exciting and liberating, can also be taxing of the greatest kind. Some sunsets may be best viewed from home, although the chase itself is instructive and wrought with potential.

The plane I find myself on left Washington D.C. around 1700 and will land six hours or so later, around 2000 in Seattle. I look out across the vast expanse of our motherland below and begin to feel that familiarity, a calming sense of right, and that tugging heartbeat. I think often about just how far I have come in a year’s time. Living in America must hold new meaning for me no doubt. I certainly took for granted the rights and freedoms we Americans enjoy and I would like to believe that I will cherish and hold dear such in my new life returned. Returning “home” is a feeling like no other. Returning to freedom aside, it seems that my returning to more than infrequent mindlessness, to frivolous worry, and a host of other unwritten consternations can only undeniably banish from my everyday life. We will soon see.

Deep relief is within my grasp as each minute, each second even, ticks down toward reunion. Shadows of the recent past, however, also follow me as I traverse the world back to my boy. How long these shadows are cast ultimately depends on how much light behind them I allow to remain. The light is so very bright now. I know the solution is within me to discover, to emplace, and finally to execute. Today I know not how to dim such strong light, so these shadows of my past will remain and, hopefully, slowly dissipate with a little work. Tonight, those shadows will be gone long enough to cherish the breath of life I am given within my son’s eyes, his loving gaze upon me again, and his sweet and innocent words. With this I will focus only on him, on his wellbeing, and on the incredible opportunity I have been given again to be “dad” again. A year’s distance is bridged and that feels so very, very good.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

Special Post No. 126

America the Beautiful
Winchester, Virginia

The photographs below were taken on 23 April 2012, after my arrival to Washington D.C. and later to Winchester, Virginia. I am here for a day and night to out-process from the US Army Corps of Engineers Deployment Center and continue my journey home to my son, Kaesen. Even not being home yet and staying in a hotel on the east coast in Virginia, it feels so very good to be here. The breathing becomes easier by the moment. Fatigue has set in and I have succumbed to sleep and hot baths. Soon I will as right as rain again!

April 23, 2012 - Flying Over North America

North America at approximately 0100 Pacific/0400 Eastern

We left Dubai about 11 hours ago; we have about three hours remaining on this flight. For whatever reason I always report before I make this flight that it will be along 17 hours when in fact it is somewhere around 14 hours. Believe me, three extra hours makes a difference and would ultimately mean three more agonizing hours of tailbone misery for me. The end of the long cross-the-world journey is coming into view. Flying of North America is a good feeling. We have traveled over 6,000 miles at roughly seven miles above the earth. This is such an amazing concept. I have blogged before about how the travel can perplex the mind; it is not normal to see more than one sunrise and more than one sunset in a single 24-hour period. Coming home is as though we are traveling back in time. The Boeing 777 is such a magnificent aircraft and quite the lap of luxury; business class, with their reclining beds, would be even better! I am now excited to someday fly on the Boeing 787 Dreamliner.

I have watched four movies on this flight; well, three and I am into my fourth now. This is not so unusual for me, as I watch an incredible amount of movies, or least I have this past year (the goal will now be to immerse myself in the “real world” and share every waking moment possible with my son. I have also slept some, when I could, although the excitement of seeing Kaesen is dashing any real hope for rest. My plan now is to try to stay awake until tonight, so another18 hours if possible, and sleep on the east coast schedule to jumpstart my body back into our reality here. We’ll see how well this plan moves from thought to action – or inaction as it were. Tomorrow night at 2000 I land in Seattle – and into the return of my life.

With this deployment nearly completely over – it ends tomorrow when I walk out of the US Army Corps of Engineers Deployment Center, my mind is racing with an idea for closing out this blog. Of course I plan to share my journey over the next week as I enjoy my reintegration leave (it is considered part of the yearlong deployment). On my mind though are the thoughts and experiences I could not blog about while at FOB Smart, or Kandahar Airfield, or the wealth of other thoughts and feelings I encountered along the way. This blog has purposefully been positive (as much as I could allow it to be or intentionally shape it to be) but there is always darkness with light; there is always another story or someone else’s story, or a portion of the story untold for whatever reason. All of this and more, I am considering how to close shop. Tune in soon for the finale.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

April 22, 2012 - Dubai, UAE

Dubai International Airport at 1800 - Sunday (evening in Dubai; morning in America)

I awoke this morning around 0600 in Kandahar, Afghanistan. It is 1800 in Dubai, United Arab Emirates; however, through the miracle of the Digital Age, I have pushed my blog and netbook clocks back to Pacific Time, where I am going to be permanently residing. As a result, the timestamp for this blog post reads 0700 Sunday morning; however, I am still 11 hours ahead until my flight leaves in about six hours. At that point I will then be flying back in time to land in Washington D.C. on Monday morning even though the nearly 17-hour flight will appear to have taken only six or so hours. Enough of the boring technical travel details.

My heart and mind are facing fully forward to when I am finally reunited with Kaesen again on Tuesday night. I will have traveled greater than 12,000 miles to meet him at the airport in Seattle. There I go again with the technical travel tidbits. Anyway, my heart beats so strongly for my son. I am eagerly anticipating our first hug, our first kiss, my first tickle, and his first laugh more than anything else. His mother said he is counting down all on his own now and is very excited to see his daddy. It would see the two JL Summerlin boys are tracking in lock step right now.

After waking this morning we hit the DFAC one last time; it was a proper British breakfast for me at the Cambridge DFAC followed by one last small load of laundry, completion of my packing, completion of my out-processing (finally), and a bit of hanging out and talking about mindless points across the board.

I find myself tired already, but the energy is building from the solace, joy, and happiness knowing I will soon be on America soil once more. This time for good! I wish everyone a wonderful day, and night, and hope all is as right in the world right now as it is for me.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

AF Day 343 - Final Post from the War Zone

KAF at 2300 - Saturday (late night)

I have an hour left on this magical day of turning 40, albeit in a war zone, out-processing from my Afghanistan deployment for the US Army Corps of Engineers, and looking ahead to my future, and the future with, and of, my son. In retrospect, I would say the birthday was a lot like many others before, only in a war zone. I enjoyed my time here in the last few days with Leyton Summerlin, my nephew, and had a super-great day. Well wishes came in on Facebook from all over; I spoke with my son, twice, today. What else could be better, all things considered, in the moment and in the position I find myself in right now? I can answer this for you; nothing!

Tomorrow I leave Afghanistan for good. It feels strange to know this is my very last Afghanistan nightly blog post. I have diligently written, on both "good days" and "bad days." In the end, the good ones far outweigh and outnumber the bad ones. The analysis of this deployment may take months or even years to comprehend fully, but I can say with all certainty right now, this deployment has enriched my life immeasurably. I am a better person for having volunteered to risk my life here so that others, especially our Afghan partners and the local populace, have benefited from our presence here in many ways more than I have described in this past year.

Introspection is wonderful at times like these where I find myself measuring the worth of my efforts. I ask myself continuously whether I have positively impacted the lives of those near or dear to me. In this regard, I truly feel blessed for I have received countless emails and have had numerous conversations with many Afghans and ISAF (Americans and our allies) with regard to others giving thanks for our service here - and my service here. A few nights ago I was honored by PRT Zabul. Tonight I was honored by the US Army Corps of Engineers. Throughout my time here I have been simply honored by the opportunity to work alongside, for, and with some very many wonderful, outstanding, caring, and truly professional people. Tonight, in a few minutes, I will fall to sleep feeling content with the knowledge that I accomplished so much more than what I set out to achieve. Greatness in humility? Yes, absolutely. Satisfaction in performance? Most definitely!

I wish well all of you, you family, you friends, you interested few or more, for the unspoken companionship during this journey of mine. I know many of your reading this simply "tuned in" for the FOB Smart updates pouring out daily. Some for the status of my own goings-on and others maybe for brief periods here and there just to check-in, check-out, and check-up. Regardless of the traffic, I want you to know how much I have appreciated this opportunity to share my life, my story, and the stories of all of our brothers and sisters while here in Afghanistan. Godspeed, good luck, and God bless the United States of American and her allies.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

AF Day 343 - April 21st

KAF at 1500 - Saturday

Afternoon has arrived and I have almost completely out-processed here at the USACE compound on KAF. Tomorrow morning I will finish up with a few forms to sign and several more official goodbyes. I turned in all of my gear required for such here; I have more to take back to the USACE Deployment Center (UDC) in Winchester, Virginia. It feels amazing to turn in your battle gear, including the bullet-proof vest (it's a misnomer for sure), Kevlar helmet, and gas mask (not sure why we get these anymore; at least not here anyway). I also turned in, and cleared from the system (that's the procedure), my personal locator beacon (PLB). The rest of the gear I am carrying to UDC includes rain gear, first aid items, a fleece jacket, and other small items.

Talk about scary feeling looking back, I learned when clearing my PLB that my equipment had not been registered properly for use in the event of a personnel emergency requiring extraction. If I would have needed to use it, it would have worked fine. However, if I had activated it, the command staff in this region would have been alerted that one of their PLBs was emitting although USACE would have ultimately disregarded the signal believing it would have been a missing or stolen PLB - and not one registered to JL Summerlin. As it happened, I never needed the PLB, but thank God I never needed it!

All of a year's work is culminating in about two hours from now at our end-of-tour awards ceremony. Three other USACE personnel, Army civilians like me, are leaving theater tomorrow with me. It is amazing to me how different our deployment experiences can be. Those here on KAF enjoy living in the lap of luxury, comparatively speaking, while others at outlying FOBs, well that is something far less than luxurious I can tell you. Even so, I would never want this experience to have occurred anywhere else than FOB Smart. No doubt though, it is truly an honor and, for me anyway, a privilege to serve here for USACE; especially to be forward-deployed and to serve the needs of PRT Zabul.

I wish that my nephew, Leyton Summerlin, were able to attend this evening, but I do understand that his work, and the needs of the United States Army, will always take precedence over my wishes, and his work today includes flying north to his new "home" where he'll live for another seven or eight months. It was wonderful seeing him again this morning and the last three days here.

My son, Kaesen, made me a birthday card and his mother photographed it and sent it to me while I slept last night. His card was the first thing I saw this morning when I woke. I have been looking at it all day - I downloaded it to my personal phone. This son amazes me to no end. He is such a miracle for me, and his mother, and I love him beyond measure. Turning 40 is nothing familiar, but it feels just like the last 39 or so birthdays - just another day marking another glorious year of living life well.

Forty years ago my parents welcomed me into this life of mine. It has been a blink of an eye for many of these years. So much has changed and yet so much is still the same. I hope the next 40 are equally as blessed and fruitful.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.

Special Post No. 125

Qalat, Zabul Province,  to Kandahar Airfield, Kandahar Province
Southern Afghanistan

The photographs below were taken on 18-21 April 2012, during my final helicopter flights from FOB Smart to Kandahar Airfield. As you can see from these photos, we encountered some nasty weather and were delayed, and grounded, overnight at nearby FOB Lagman, also in Qalat. The views from above were amazing. The delay was perfection. Farewell, Zabul Province. I have had the absolute pleasure of being fortunate to spend time with my nephew, also named Leyton Summerlin, over the last three days; a few meals, lots of laughter, a few walks here and there - and to be with him for breakfast on my 40th birthday - well, now that is just priceless. Enjoy.

Leyton & Leyton on Leyton's 40th birthday in Kandahar, Afghanistan