AF Day 176 - II

FOB Smart at 2300 - Sunday

Part II

Time is something we all have in common. We live for time, we die when we run out of time, and we fancy time in every aspect of our lives. Time is at once measured and immeasurable. You know how much time we waste wishing we had just a little more time? Hint: A lot, and so much so that time seems to fade away after those moments keep ticking by while we unintentionally keep track of the time it takes to get more time.

I want more time for this and that or for a special occasion, or even a frivolous moment. Time is our friend and it is often our greatest hindrance. I like time because it is a constant reminder to me of how much I need or want. I love time because it causes me to pause, time causing pausing - yes, it does for me, and for you and you and you... Sometimes I wish time would run out, not on me or for something I hold dear. Rather, for time to run out on a brief moment, or a dramatically, breathtakingly, and excruciatingly dreadful period of time so much so that the very appearance of continuing forward, if only right this second, takes more time than I think my tiny life can bear.

Now, we have a lot of time or a little time, and often we have time to spare, but time is everything, isn't it? Time, to me, is the very essence of my life. It makes me move or walk or run. Time is the way by which we measure the effect of one's worth. What is a second worth? A minute is hardly anything to waste time writing or reading, but a minute with my son is worth a thousand years and a thousand lifetimes of a thousand years. A second is the amount of time it takes for my son to say, "I love you, Daddy." A year is the amount of time I have volunteered to give my time to those whom I know need my time more than I. Four years is the amount of time I have had to-date with my beautiful son. And I expect another endless amount of time to share every moment of my life with him.

For now, time is on my side. The time it takes to read this is the same it takes to know how very much I love my son. It would take 10,000,000 times longer to explain why I love him, for every moment I have had with my son is worth more than my own life, more than the life I could, or should, or would have if anything else mattered in this world more than him to me.

I bide my time here and everywhere so that one day, sooner rather than later, I can spend more time with my son, Kaesen.

143, Kaesen.

Good night and good day.