Canada – Hudson Bay – North Atlantic Ocean at 1823 – Sunday
It is New Year’s Day and I am flying at 659 mph at an altitude of 37,000 feet. My emotions are high as I have left my son, Kaesen, once again in the tender and loving arms of his mother. Kaesen and I both cried as I walked away from them at the airport in Seattle, Washington, only hours ago. My time with his is, and always has been, precious. Even more so today, watching his delight and amazement on the flights we flew together from Phoenix to Salt Lake City to Seattle, I was mesmerized by him and his fascinations, his sweet beliefs, and his unprompted “I love you” several times to me.
This New Year holds much promise and hope for me, for my life, for my son’s life ahead, and I am thankful today. I suppose it would be very easy for me to be bitter, to be angry, and to be so many things not normally a part of me or my life. I am trying with all of my might to focus only on the positive of my life today and beyond.
I’d like to share something once and for all here in my blog. Forgive me, those of you whom would prefer or presume that I should refrain. Four months ago my life changed forever, dramatically and instantly, and today I wish only the best of dreams, the best of love, and the most of happiness possible for my wife of nearly fifteen years. It is my sincerest desire and my greatest hope that for the rest of our lives we can walk with our son and hold high the values of right, the values of fairness, the values of love for humanity and all people, and I wish tonight for everything to be peaceful forever. I will not attack or degrade, but I will say that it was very shocking and unrelentingly painful to experience a familiar betrayal earlier this year. I will also say that whatever happens in our future lives apart, Kimberly and I will always share the same loving and caring feelings of our son.
Today, for me, is already tomorrow. I land in Frankfurt, Germany, in about six hours. Tomorrow I will continue to Dubai and then finally again to Kandahar. The next day I will return to FOB Smart and resume my life of a deployed US Army civilian. I look forward to the routine I have grown accustomed to in the last seven months and to the passionate work I enjoy. Many people throughout the world experience far worse than I on any given day to my last four months and so I return with intent to make a difference, as I feel that I already have in such a short amount of time. It is through good works, through being an honest, caring, and compassionate man that I release myself from the pain of life, from the wrongs of the past, and from the detractors who would prefer to worry about their own misfortunes. Serving in Afghanistan is an honor, a privilege, and a dream experience for certain.
I wish you all well on this first day of the year of hopes, dreams, and making plain the harsh reality of living in today’s world. Be well, be free, and be happy in all that you do.
143, Kaesen.
Good night and good day.
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